Humans (actually, almost exclusively men) are divided by having two entirely different games in mind when they approach military policy.
In one rarely played game the military is something like a fire department. A usually necessary expense. Nobody but sick people want to see houses burn or even sets them on fire, but the fire department saves the day when it happens and the rest of the time it prepares and tries to do preventive work.
The other game has entirely different rules. In this game it's all feelings-oriented. This game has almost exclusively male fans and players. I have likened this to hunter-gatherer 'caveman' clans, for the rules of this game were likely written by evolution when humans lived in small clans with little if any cooperation or trade with other clans. It may even pre-date human speech, and thus all forms of diplomacy and almost all forms of trade.*
This game is very much about "us" and "them". Any minor injury suffered or perceived threat leads to great hostility. The amount of effort required and the quantity of casualties of conflict don't matter in this game - it's all about overpowering if not annihilating another clan or at least having more chest-thumping clubmen.
Fans and players of this game may create an impression that they're very abstract in their thinking, but the abstraction is nothing but ignoring costs and suffering - unless wasteful spending means that they can't afford as many more or less shiny clubs as they wish. They don't even pay attention when hardly any harm was inflicted on them, and their reaction to a provocation is much more harmful.
I have no doubt that the latter game worked admirably much more often than not - in prehistoric Europe and maybe even to this day in some remote South American jungle regions. The moderate pacifist point of view is still that we really, really should move on for our own good, though.
Challenge yourself: Make a note "What game do I play?" and every time you have had some thoughts about military affairs you read that note and answer yourself.