Kiwi humour (WW2)

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We then settled down to rest, when suddenly there was an unmistakable shell-burst close outside. I went to the door as the smoke and dust were clearing, and through the Castle gap saw, far out on the plain, four quickly flickering flashes. I started to count the seconds, but before the sound of the guns had arrived there were four sharp explosions, neatly spaced among the buildings. The corner of one house collapsed and the guns flashed again. I returned inside and remarked that we were perfectly safe as two shells never landed in the same spot, whereupon with a howl one entered the room above my head, passed through the next wall, and burst feebly, slightly wounding a pig. This confirmed my opinion that we were perfectly safe as certainly no three shells were likely to land in the same place, so we sat through the twenty-minutes bombardment in moderate tranquillity.

The idea of a sleep had to be abandoned, however, when a message arrived for me to report at Brigade. Cameron and Gilmour came with me, and we laboriously slogged our way through the mud out on to the road. The German gunners opened again and seemed to follow us. I had another chance to develop my theories as to the incidence of shell-bursts. There were two huge rocks behind which I averred it would be perfectly safe to shelter. We did so for a while, and left a moment before a shell burst exactly where we had been. After this I advanced no more theories and we very slowly made our way out on to the road and down to Brigade.

(Infantry Brigadier; 3. Greece: The First Action)

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